Why I pretend to have a man
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Having a man is like a badge of honour for many women, but truth is, there are just not enough good ones to go around. Even the Bible tells us that some will have the gift of singleness and some the gift of marriage, but it seems like that little tidbit is ignored by many women who insist on having someone, no matter whom, even if that someone is all in their minds.
Below women tell why they lie about having men in an effort to please the masses — the neighbours, co-workers, family and friends who are just always in their business.
My community is not so safe and I live alone. I think having a man would make a thief think twice before he comes to my house. So every week when I put my clothes out on the line to dry, I make sure I spread a few boxers and T-shirts among them as well (they belong to my brother). You may laugh all you want but so far the thieves haven’t visited once!
I broke up with my boyfriend about three months ago. Everyone who knew us said that we were perfect for each other. I think they were right but the fact of the matter is that we are no longer together. I bought a second phone so that I could send messages to myself and pretend as if I still have a boyfriend. So far my plan is working…
I pretend as if I am talking to my boyfriend on the phone but it’s just me playing my ringtones and talking to my telephone. I have to remember though to put the phone on silent, ‘cause what if the phone should actually ring and I’m on a call with my ‘boyfriend’?
I have no boyfriend in my life. However that is not what my Facebook friends will read on my status. According to Facebook, I’m in a relationship. With who, I don’t know!
Every time I go to a party I will take pictures with some random guy and post it on social media. As far as people are concerned, I’m dating.
I have a ring that I wear to prove to people that I am in a committed relationship. Mind you, I only wear it to certain events. I tell people that the ring is my promise ring.
Sometimes you get tired of your co-workers and friends asking you when are you going to get a boyfriend. But as far as I am concerned I haven’t met a man I like who is not taken. So one day I just decided to make up a boyfriend. My invisible boyfriend is the man in my life who I am always talking about but who no one has ever met.
Sometimes I buy condoms at the supermarket and keep them on me. But it’s just a show, after mi nuh have nuh man!