Confessions Of A Cougar: Why I Stopped Dating Younger Men


By | Love + Sex – Fri, Jun 28, 2013 11:52 AM EDT


Once upon a time, I was a super cougar. Much like Hattie from Extreme Cougar Wives, I reveled in the youth and stamina of young men. How low did I go? Let’s just say that I had to buy him drinks. Not because he was broke but because he was only of legal drinking in Mexico.

 That was obviously a deal breaker. I knew he wouldn’t truly fulfill me until he was a 21-and-over card-carrying American. But that wasn’t the only reason why I decided to date men my age. Though at one time I was a proud member of the Cougar Club, I realized that it is difficult dating a man who is just a boy. Here are the reasons why this reformed cougar will never date a man that is half her age again.

Related: 10 men ALL women date before tying the knot

From jackrabbit sex to immaturity, here are the reasons I will never date a younger man again, unlike Hattie, the hot Extreme Cougar Wife.

blame it on the alcohol

I said it before and I will say it again – I like my booze! Imagine my embarrassment when the 20-year-old I dated at 28 couldn’t buy me a Frozen Mudslide at TGIF’s. It’s Kahlua, for Pete’s sake! Does that even count as alcohol?!

arguing with a child

Men don’t like to argue. They usually shut down and want to run into their man cave. Still, they communicate in their man ways. A grunt is way better than a pout and temper tantrum, which is the way of the younger man. Younger men don’t have the emotional intelligence to communicate what they feel. They can only listen to your woes with a pacifier that soothes their insecurities.

as insecure as a teen

Speaking of insecurities, younger men usually aren’t as confident as older men. I mean, you’re such a hot cougar, you’re kind of out of their league. A man that is half your age may not know what to do with your maturity, drive and awareness. If I wanted to deal with all that drama, I’ll date a teen and watch him pop his pimples.

jackrabbit sex

Oh, the fast, wham-bam-thank you-man sex! It’s not something that I miss but it is a part of dating a man that’s younger. Not that men who are in their 30s aren’t sometimes terrible in bed. But they are more open to communicating about what feels good (or doesn’t). It all comes down to ego. Few youngling wants to learn that they’re not as hot in bed as their former girlfriend once claimed (she’s 21 – what do you expect?!). You will suffer nightly, and they may still see themselves as less than studs.

their non-committal ways

This may be okay with some cougars but it was an issue for me. Even though I was dating youngins, I wanted a committed relationship. Most 21-year-old’s just want to “chill” and party on at dive bar and clubs. I get it. I was young once. But now, not so much. I want a committed and loving relationship with a partner, not a babysitting job or a game of relationship limbo. I want to cuddle on the couch with a glass of wine, not go to frat row and chug a kegger. This old lady is ready for old and stable love. Whatever has become of me.

-By Sujeiry Gonzalez


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